…is getting more and more difficult…bending at the waist, not the knees, causes me to grunt…putting on my shoes takes a whole new effort…certain sex positions…well you get the picture! Seriously my tummy is not that big yet, considering what it will be, and already it’s challenging! Thank God that during my last two months I will be able to wear flip flops!
(About 18 weeks)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Ride from Hell Riddled with Rude Comments
A few weeks ago, I felt strange carbonation-like bubbles in my tummy. This was definitely NOT gas or indigestion! It wasn’t in the right place and felt different than any movement I’ve felt before. I placed my hand on my tummy and realized that my baby was doing acrobatics! Later as I was stretched out on the couch nursing some nausea, my cat decided to sleep on my tummy. His extra pressure and warmth made the baby move again in rolling spurts. The best way I know to describe it this: imagine you are boiling polenta or cream of wheat and the grain is just starting to lob on roll. This is how it felt inside of my tummy, but very lightly.
Then last week I blindly jumped on the seemingly endless roller coaster ride called “Hormone Hell”. It’s not a fun ride and makes you think you are going insane. The first section is full of high peaks and low valleys. The first peak is called “Lowered Self Esteem” and then it plummets to the “I am SO fat” valley, then climbs again to the “ I’m not exercising enough” peak, and then to the low, low valley (below sea depth I think) called “My husband MUST find me unattractive”...Oh, it’s hell.
Then, in the bottom of that last valley I saw an acquaintance at the bus stop who overheard me talking about my pregnancy and she said, “Oh, are you expecting? I thought it looked like you had put on weight!” I was MORTIFIED! I went home and burst into tears while decorating the Christmas tree and sobbed to Tim about it. I believe I even threw an ornament across the living room and exclaimed, “Pregnancy SUCKS!”
He held me and the first thing he said, bless his heart, was “That crusty old bitch.” Then he said, “You know, you are pregnant, you are not fat. And, your belly is just going to get bigger.” He has said that to me numerous times but it finally sunk in (almost).
That night as I drifted in and out of restless pregnancy sleep, I turned onto my side and my hand was pressed onto my belly. A distinctive little kick near my belly button woke me, wide-eyed in wonderment, from slumber. And suddenly the roller coaster ride flattened into a peaceful, joyous drive throughout pregnancy.
It is all worth it.
(About 18 weeks)
Then last week I blindly jumped on the seemingly endless roller coaster ride called “Hormone Hell”. It’s not a fun ride and makes you think you are going insane. The first section is full of high peaks and low valleys. The first peak is called “Lowered Self Esteem” and then it plummets to the “I am SO fat” valley, then climbs again to the “ I’m not exercising enough” peak, and then to the low, low valley (below sea depth I think) called “My husband MUST find me unattractive”...Oh, it’s hell.
Then, in the bottom of that last valley I saw an acquaintance at the bus stop who overheard me talking about my pregnancy and she said, “Oh, are you expecting? I thought it looked like you had put on weight!” I was MORTIFIED! I went home and burst into tears while decorating the Christmas tree and sobbed to Tim about it. I believe I even threw an ornament across the living room and exclaimed, “Pregnancy SUCKS!”
He held me and the first thing he said, bless his heart, was “That crusty old bitch.” Then he said, “You know, you are pregnant, you are not fat. And, your belly is just going to get bigger.” He has said that to me numerous times but it finally sunk in (almost).
That night as I drifted in and out of restless pregnancy sleep, I turned onto my side and my hand was pressed onto my belly. A distinctive little kick near my belly button woke me, wide-eyed in wonderment, from slumber. And suddenly the roller coaster ride flattened into a peaceful, joyous drive throughout pregnancy.
It is all worth it.
(About 18 weeks)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Wise Women
Jamie loaned me very cute Gap Maternity jeans that actually make me feel good when I wear them. Kandi loaned me maternity skirts, pants and dresses, numerous books, helped me get a great deal on an adorable baby swing, set me up with a great day care and her support and tips about being a working mom are priceless—and she’s my boss! Melissa is due May 22 and I’m due May 23rd. She is a 3rd time mom and every time I feel extra crampy, need advice on what baby will need, or just need comfort, she’s only five feet away at work. My sister-in-law is due May 20th and not only is she a great example of an excellent mama, we get to share these exciting and frustrating moments together and eventually raise our little ones side by side. My mom is excited and supportive, lets me go through my old baby clothes, tells me that there’s no way I’ve already gained 10 lbs and knows just when to not give me any more advice. My mother-in-law is a nurse and first-time grandma and her input is invaluable.
Before I became pregnant, I did not understand this strong bond between women who are mothers. Their experienced hearts have carried me through these first four months, eased my worries and fed my excitement. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many wise women.
(About 16 weeks)
Before I became pregnant, I did not understand this strong bond between women who are mothers. Their experienced hearts have carried me through these first four months, eased my worries and fed my excitement. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many wise women.
(About 16 weeks)
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