A Blessing and a Curse

Monday was the first day that I can say beyond a doubt that I love being pregnant! Something good happened in me when I reached the 6 month milestone. This wee acrobat is twirling, responding to his daddy, kicking really hard and fluttering all over inside. It’s so amazing and I already know I will miss the movements after he is born.

I’m falling really, really hard for this little guy. I am so in love with him. I spend so much time staring at my tummy and the crazy movements it makes. I love many of the ways he has changed my relationship with Tim already. I love watching Tim fall in love with him. I can’t wait to hold him in my arms and just stare at him forever.

One of the more surprising things about this pregnancy is that I’ve fallen more deeply in love with my husband on a new level. Despite the challenges it has presented us, I’m becoming intimately acquainted with a side of Tim that I’ve never known, and my new dependence on him surprises me. I wouldn’t say I am becoming co-dependent, rather I am learning that I sincerely need him to help me and he needs certain new things from me. I’m learning to trust him even more than I already do.

Although…I’m not sure how much Tim trust me lately in some ways…let me explain.

I read yesterday that at around 6 months pregnant women notice a remarkable increase in clumsiness. I truly believe they were writing about me. An hour doesn’t go by that I don’t drop a pen, break a glass, drop food either on my tummy or on the floor, trip over nothing or run into something (usually stomach-first).

Well this morning my alarm went off at 5:45. I stretched and felt cozy, warm and amorous. I got up to run to the bathroom and then crawl back in bed with Tim for a few minutes of snuggling before work. It was very dark in our room and as I reached over toward him, I was so disoriented that I (quite dramatically) stabbed him straight in the right eye with my left thumb, whose thumbnail is long and strong. I didn’t just poke him in the eye. I literally stabbed him violently in the eye. I felt his eye indent like a semi-dry sponge as he abruptly woke from slumber and screamed, “Oh, my eye! You stabbed me in the eye!” He flipped on his lamp and blinked a few times, in what looked like an effort to make sure he could still see despite the damage. I apologized profusely to him, offering a cold washcloth or icepack.

He laid back down moaning and the next thing he uttered was, “I hope it doesn’t turn into a black eye.” Wouldn’t the other officers love to make fun of that!? I can already hear them: “Hey Smith, how’d ya get that black eye? Your wife beating up on you again?”

Then the next thing he said was, “Come snuggle.” Yeah, right! Like I wanted to snuggle then! I totally broke the mood.  I was half crying because I felt so bad and half laughing my head off!

I got up and went into the bathroom to shower. As I entered the bathroom, I tripped on some invisible thing and fell against the wall adjoining the bedroom, making a loud crash. Then I tripped my way into the shower, dropped the soap, making a very loud echoing noise and then accidentally slammed the shower door. Did I mention this was all before 6 a.m.? 

My cat, sensing danger, wanted to be let outside as soon as I left the bathroom.

Oh, the joys of living with your soulmate. I would not trade any moment that I’ve had with that man and hope he can say the same about me! I just really pray that I am not so clumsy with my infant son.

(25 weeks, 4 days)