What's on my heart...

Most of you know that while not very religious, I am a person of faith.  I don't have answers and I am strongly convicted of few things.  Last night and this morning I have had my sweet little neice on my heart.  She has learned a tough lesson about prayer that even most adults try to understand. 

To me, prayer is one of the best things about having faith in God.  But, it is also one of the most confusing.  My neice is being raised by strong Christian parents with a lot more faith and conviction than me, and they are great parents.  She prayed and prayed with all faith for something very specific, and believed in her little heart that it was going to happen.  She is only 9 with that kind of faith.

I was 22 when I prayed and prayed and prayed for my good friend's daughter to live.  She was about 7 and had been diagnosed with a very large tumor in her stomach.  She was so vibrant, sweet and full of promise.  I couldn't begin to understand that God wouldn't answer my prayer. 

She died two months after she was diagnosed.  My friend was only 22 at the time.  

It has taken me years and years to reconcile in my heart why God didn't answer our prayers and why he would let something like that happen.

So how do you explain years of healing to a 9 year old whose disappointment surely must be confusing to her?  After all, the Bible says to "ask and it shall be given to you."  Thankfully her request was not in the least as serious as a dying 7 year-old.  I have faith that somehow God will work in her little (big) heart to teach her peace and faith.

Maybe these are sort of a mandatory faith lesson...

I guess there are just things that we can never understand, and life, even the bad stuff and disappointments, just happen.  In my simple and oftentimes not-very-mainstream-Christian-mind, I believe that God is there for comfort if we are willing to reach out to him, and prayer is about relationship with God, not getting what we think is good for us. 

But really, I don't know...

And I am glad I am not her parents!  They are doing a great job with those kiddos.